Lessons, guys, lessons.

What was the last great lesson you learned, and who provided it?
In the fall of 2007, I was frustrated with life. I had finished graduate school, purchased a house, rescued a dog, and couldn’t find a marketing job. I loved working at Howdy Honda, who graciously hired me to work my way through graduate school. But I wanted to get into marketing, and Austin is oh so competitive. I decided to combat my woes by training for my first marathon. Because a destination marathon sounded like fun, I picked Las Vegas.

The marathon was hard, not to say that the four I’ve run since were easy, but that one was particularly difficult. I was recovering from a sinus infection and was about 15 pounds overweight. The weather was horrible that weekend - 30 degrees and windy - and the Las Vegas desert (where we did most of our running that day) is nothing like the Las Vegas strip (where we started and finished, and I could see the finish line 8 miles out).

My father ran the entire marathon with me, I’ll never forget how hard every single mile of that race was after the first three hours. At mile 23 or so, I started to cry a little. Dad told me to “calm my liver.” He patted my shoulder and I could tell that he knew what I was going through, and that everything was going to be fine. It was something that my mom used to say to him in the early and stressful days of his career.

I have kept that mantra with me since that day and it has inspired me to do amazing things: run up this ridiculous hill on Barton Creek Boulevard, complete five more marathons, take Bikram’s yoga classes, and manage anxiety. I say it to friends an co-workers, and it always makes you laugh a little bit, because it’s kind of a silly thing to say. No better way to put someone at ease than with a little humor. Because it came from my dad, “calm your liver” also reminds me of what’s important: who you love, what you love, and to love yourself above all.

tired thursday: i hate stress

i really do hate stress. with all the exercise i'm doing, you would think it would be impossible! sadly, no. i tried to sweat out my stress at bikram tonight, but my muscles were angry at me. i tried to eat away my stress (actually i was just ravenous like bear after yoga) by totally abandoning my diet and eating a big fat falafel sandwich with fries for dinner (in my own defense, i had no snacks today and did a run plus bikram, i think i earned a few extra calories).

i'm still stressed. but i will read christopher moore before finally going to sleep and try not to be.

in the meantime, i noticed something good about bikram and about eating dinner only at the kitchen table: i have watched hardly any tv all week. i'm liking that. my husband and i actually have conversations (i know, woah).

last night i made panko crusted flounder and steamed broccoli and carrots - 'twas tres delicieux. just roll your flounder in a mixture of panko bread crumbs, kosher salt, cayenne, and old bay seasoning, then pan fry on medium high heat with a little olive oil. veggies? i was lazy and got the cascadian farms seasoned carrots and broccoli and steamed in the microwave.

i might have also had the last cupcake. might. according to everyone who tried one, they were too good to waste.

monday madness: today is valentine's

because today is valentine's day, i enjoyed the following totally worth it indulgences:
butter miso sauce (recipe will soon follow, i need to try some variations first)
a cupcake (that i've now been told is better than austin's hey cupcake!)
prosecco (a dry, very tart prosecco that paired nicely with rich butter sauce)

there is a madness to the whole concept of monday that, as someone who over-stresses about everything under the sun, i have trouble stomaching. get lunch packed, get to work on time, get work done, finish up the house cleaning that didn't get done over the weekend... you get the idea.

this monday i feel different, maybe particularly mad? maybe because, for the first time in a good long while, i have a hardcore workout plan ahead of me. i packed my yoga back, laid out running clothes, and prepared tomorrow's lunch all before cooking dinner tonight. tomorrow is really where the madness starts (today i gave myself a free slacker card because it's valentine's day, and because we went to a concert that ran late last night):
5:30am run, 4.73 miles
7:30pm bikram yoga, 90 minutes in 105 degree humid studio

and guess what my wonderful husband got us for valentine's day? dance lessons! soon in our future we will be immersing ourselves in "swing 1" at a north austin studio. i can't wait to learn how to dance with my man! the class photos on the website showed groups of average-looking folks just like bret and i, having a grand old time. i can't wait! that's madness that i'll go to a tea party for.

in addition to the normal madness that is my life, i will have a house full of brother and family (he has a wife and four children) this weekend! so far we have a pancake breakfast planned for saturday morning, pasta dinner at dad's saturday night, and festivities surrounding the austin half marathon. my brother and i have been emailing back and forth to plan his saturday morning long run that i hope will be finished before the kiddos wake up. they like to sleep late. either way, i will be liking coffee.

i am a very lucky, and consequently proud, aunt. my husband and i have the great fortune of many nephews and nieces, all very much loved. my brother is brilliant so, naturally, he spawned brilliant children. there's sherry, the lone little lady, who can story tell with the best of them and who is apparently excelling in every subject in school. darrell is a jock-a-holic who monitors his calorie intake and has an almost genetically coded understanding of football. i am hoping that he will be a pro nfl player and take care of his parents and aunts and uncles in his old age. maybe his future cousins, too. richard is the artist of the group who loves to cook, act, and more recently draw comic strips. my brother's wife brought jackson to the mix who has a remarkable memory and way with words. all four of them can melt an aunt's heart with the blink of an eye, or send her yelling with a shake of the head. hopefully, some day, i will have a progeny of my own.

and there you have it - monday madness, butter, dancing, and lovely family.

official relaunch of the now 30-something's blog

when you turn 30, really you should be cloud 9. because let's face it, we're fab! we made it through our twenties and came out with better skin care, better taste in food, and hopefully with a few things to last us through at least part of the next decade and maybe for the rest of our lives (for me that includes a husband, cats, a dog, a house, five marathon medals, a fabulous car, beautiful friends, wusthof knives, and a kate spade purse amongst a myriad of others).

i rolled through my twenties with fluctuating weight, a marrige, a move to austin, and my first five marathons. i drank beer and ate too many calories and managed to be the biggest diet slacker ever. sure, i stopped eating meat and went on a fast and dropped tons of weight with my running and refusal to put certain unhealthy crap in my body. however - in the past six months i've noticed that i can't get away with such indulgences i used to enjoy from time to time (three local microbrews in one sitting, french fries, chips with guac, big serving of pasta to name a few).

it's a shame to admit it and to whine about it and to be such a drama queen when people all over the world are suffering from real problems but i'm just going to say it and accept your eye rolling and judgment: i have a belly. what?! i've had a flat stomach all of my life, save the years that i willfully overate and was fat. also, my thighs are monstrous. yes, the still fit in my jeans, but they just aren't as lovely. i know that i can attribute part of this to the fact that i'm not in marathon condition, but it didn't take that level of athletic panache in my 20's to look good in a swimsuit, darnit! if i kept my weight within a certain range, i looked good in a swimsuit.

no more. i can't eat chips and guac and drink a few beers and turn around, drink water and do cardio for a couple of days and be fine. no, it sticks. it stares up at me in the form of icky tucks in my stomach as i sit in my undies putting lotion on my legs. and my thighs are icky, totally icky.

not to mention things that nature loves to hack away at, like lines on your face. i will not complain (too much) about that and try to deal with that with moisturizer. i'm using night creams and eating avocado and taking acai every day and drinking lots of water, so i'm doing all i can. wrinkles are wrinkles, just like my stray gray hairs, and there's simply only so much i can do. and i refuse to get plastic surgery. ick, like my thighs ick.

and so, now that i am 30 and i have a belly and my thighs are ick, i will take bikram. and i will stop eating so much freaking starch. there were moral decisions to make. for the past several years, i've been a vegetarian. lately, however, i am not satisfied by my plant proteins. i'm hungry all day long. the only lunch that really sticks with me is a big salad with two boiled eggs and half an avocado. read: i need more protein and less carbohydrates. the other night after bikram, i went to whole foods with my body screaming for food. i was going to be good and pick a vegan wrap, but they had sushi rolls next to it and i found that i was craving some fish.

there was this delectable-looking roll called a "hawaii rainbow." it had a few different types of fish rolled with avocado and greens in a very thin rice paper wrap. very low carb, very high in protein and healthy fats. i grabbed it and gave it a try when i got home. i felt fabulous after i ate it and there came decision time: maybe i should start adding animal protein, beyond eggs and greek yogurt, to my food routine. there are only so many eggs one should eat in a day (like one or none). and so, because i need to stop eating carbs and because my workout-shocked body needs low calorie protein, i think it's time to start eating fish, at least for a while. why fish is tolerable and no other meat is tolerable, i don't know. i never want to eat chicken, turkey, pork, or any other flesh in my life. but fish was always a gray area in my mind. not because i don't think fish are fabulous and i don't understand that poor fishing practices are ruining the ecosystem of the oceans. honestly, i don't know. maybe it's because i know how healthy fish is, and i've always loved it.

i worry a bit that the fellow veggies in my life, particularly my sister-in-law who i love so very much, will be disappointed. but i will still compost, i will still do all the things that i do because i love the earth. i'm not going to eat fish because i love the earth or the animals upon it any less. i am eating fish because i sincerely believe that right now, my body needs the nutrition. my health is very important to me.

and so begins what i like to call "the bikram chronicles." it will be a regular account of my weight changes, daily eatings, fun recipes, beautiful food photography, and workouts until and maybe past the point when i lose these dreaded 10 pounds and turn from flabtastic to goddess. i have now invested enough money in yoga and running that i really do need to focus and take it seriously.

please comment, judge, ask questions, etc. but ultimately, please love yourself and take care of your beautiful body and of the ones you love.

nothing says happy valentine's day like a cupcake!

this week, i decided to distract myself with a project: to create the perfect cupcake. after consultations with my mother and an afternoon spent with my husband and a great friend, i chose to go with a pomegranate variation of a red velvet cake. rather than use the traditional cream cheese icing, i chose to go with a dark chocolate buttercream and top it with some sort of pomegranate confection.

why pomegranates? pomegranates are amazing! i've had a fascination with them lately because their seeds are absolutely fabulous, they look beautiful sitting in a bowl, and they're tremendously healthy. no wonder they talked about pomegranates in the song of solomon, no wonder they were known in ancient greece and rome as food of the gods. pomegranates remind us why nature is beautiful. seriously. take one home and soak it for about half an hour in a bowl of water. then score the peel in four spots across the fruit from top to bottom, take away the peel, and you discover hundreds of juicy garnet pearls. every single one tastes like heaven and is fabulous on arugula salad with fresh mozzarella and lemon olive oil dressing, in greek yogurt with honey, or on its own.

now that your mouth is all set to hear about salads and yogurt, i'm going to switch gears on you and talk about cupcakes. because that's what i made with valentine's day coming up.

red velvet cupcakes with dark chocolate and marzipan mini pom candies (recipe yields 24)



for the cupcakes:
2 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 tsp dark cocoa powder
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 cups walnut oil (you can use any oil, but walnut oil is higher in antioxidants than most other oils)
3 tbsp pomegranate juice (may i recommend genesis today's pomegranate and berries juice with resveratrol, it's super vitamin rich and much cheaper than other pomegranate juices out there)
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup dark chocolate chips

sift all dry ingredients in a medium sized bowl

beat all wet ingredients in a large mixing bowl

with an electric mixer, beat dry ingredients into wet and turn up to high speed until fully incorporated

mix in chocolate chips

fill muffin tins about 2/3 full and bake at 350 for approximately 20 minutes, or until toothpick inserted comes out clean

for the icing:
2 sticks butter, softened
1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup plus 1 tbsp dark cocoa powder
1 tbsp vanilla extract

beat the butter in an electric mixer on high speed until fluffy

beat in sugar, then cocoa powder

beat in vanilla extract and beat until smooth

icing will behave the best if allowed to chill in the refrigerator for half an hour before spreading or piping on cupcakes

for the candies:
marzipan paste
cinnamon imperials candies
red and green food coloring

mix red and green food coloring to come up with desired "pomegranate flesh" hue

shape marzipan into walnut-sized pomegranate quarters

paint marzipan quarters, then stick on imperial candies

nestle candies into the top and center of each cupcake